IT BEGINS.

See you in seven hours.

DAT

Have been camped out waiting for day after Thanksgiving; wi-fi has been spotty which is why I haven't blogged. I won't miss it the way I did last year. Last DAT I was stuck in stupid Paris. This year I'll be living it up inside H&M. 

Heaven. 

I will take care of it!

Saw this bike on Irving Park road yesterday. Someone clearly has doubts about the integrity of this fence. All the bikes coming and attaching themselves, and they don't even buy the fence dinner first. Thankfully the valiant owner swooped in to protect the fence's honor. 

Hipster Blues

So I thought having a mac would be all smiles, sunshine and approving nods from the other hipsters typing away in Starbucks. But there are downsides.

My old crappy HP had an SD slot for my pictures, no such luck with this machine. And I can't seem to format my camera or thumb drive for this macbook either. I have loads of awkward pictures that I can't share with my adoring fans. What's a girl to do?

We all Scream

How my friends eat ice cream. 

How I eat ice cream.

After going out for delicious ice cream we went to see this masterpiece. Too strange to be fiction. 

Trica Koning; Zombie Photographer.

Another day in the trenches

I believed I mentioned the state of the facilities at the office. Yes, that is an air freshener. Only the bravest of souls venture to the stall on the right. Not I. 

Sweet Home Chicago.

Did I mention how much I love living here? 

How long can it last?

And now we Wait

Today I opened the fridge at work and a fly flew out. 

Water Closet

As I've never worked in an office environment before my current job, I've had many new learning experiences. Mostly realizing how slovenly and foul humans can be. 

For instance, the office fridge. Half eaten, month old BBQ ribs, abandoned chinese food entrees, unexplained sticky puddles and food I can't identify that might have come alive. 

It's a daily battle finding a place for my lunchbox to sit so I don't find it covered in creeping mold or having it smell like moldy cheese. 

But that is nothing compared to the women's bathroom. I often take a moment to pause, look around the room and question which of the women I see have committed the atrocities inside it. On any given day one of the two stalls will be overflowing with putrid messes and the remaining stall has water all over the seat and floor. 

I want to say; Ladies, this toilet is not the entrance to the Ministry of Magic, please don't climb in it! Water all over the sink so if you lean too close while applying more lipgloss you entire front is soaked. 

Some environmentally minded soul turn out the lights after she uses the facilities, so the next person has to use the restroom while the fluorescent lights give you an seizure while they settle. 

And of course the pervasive, ever-lingering smells that waft out into the hallway, masked only slightly by the scent of orange blossom room spray.

No one told me working in an office would be this hard. 

Mellow Yellow

Saw these two on the train last week. They were both barefoot for a start. Grungy from the tips of their unwashed heads to the bottoms of their curly, cracked toenails. 

Flower Power Sour

The man took out his ukulele and showed it to a fellow passenger. These two are planning on hitchhiking to Colorado. Godspeed hippies, I hope you can hitchhike to 1967 where you belong. If I could adequately explain how these folks smelled, I would. But my nose hasn't recovered yet. 

We'll do it our Way! Yes our Way! Make all our Dreams Come True!

So I moved down to the city on the 4th, I believe I established that. I've got a job at a call center which means lots of talking and sitting down, both fields I excel in. I've met some wacky characters at work and seen lots of colorful folks on my daily commute. Will detail all the strange things I've been seeing.

Here's a preview:

I am steps from Wrigley! and I found an abandoned wig in Boystown. It could be a tumble-weave. 

Enjoying downtown. 

Saw someone who hates their insurance company and their van. Seeing lots of street art. 

Midwest is Best

So I escaped the clutches of rural Illinois and I'm now in the city.  The first night I stayed at my parents' I had a massive allergy attack. Happy homecoming.

I saw my friends for a few days then moved to Chicago on one of the hottest days of the year. I also discovered the AC unit I purloined from Mom and Pop's crawl space was blowing warm air.

Since I moved into my new "bedroom" (read: spare room that is nonetheless larger than a child's closet)   the wardrobe I bought from Wal Mart collapsed and my inflatable bed popped. clothes everywhere.

I woke up on the floor on Monday and had to roll out of the cocoon of sheets and pillows. Not a pretty sight. Also my back wasn't pleased for the rest of the week.

Reverse Wagon Train

I finally escaped Wyoming. Sometimes I still pinch myself to see if it's real. Moving day was a hot, hectic mess. My sister failed to estimate how many possessions her family has so we needed a last minute U-haul addition. Even then some of Heidi's furniture got left behind.

I mostly moved light odds and ends and got a weird tan line because I was wearing bermuda shorts. 

We left around 7 PM, drove for a few hours then pulled over to sleep. My sister gave me the choice to be in the hotel room housing the baby or the dog. I chose Dog. Of course Dog promptly escaped and ran down two flights of stairs. Although the dog whined softly all night and piddled a little on the way out, I made the correct choice. Baby stayed up all night screaming.

This song was in my head the entire trip. 

The next day we drove all through the great state of Wyoming. Shame I only got to experience the beautiful parts of the state through the car window. I drove through Wyoming and Nebraska. In my opinion Nebraska can secede from the Union at any time. 

Baby slept some, but mostly screamed for her DVD to be changed every 15 minutes. And for endless cheese crackers. 

Second night in the hotel was more peaceful, Dog was mostly quiet and Baby slept most of the night. 

Next morning I drove through Nebraska to Missouri and by which time we discovered "blankie" had been left in the hotel room. Heidi told Makayla that blankie was on vacation with elmo. Makayla was not satisfied with this answer. 

We made it to Illinois and arrived in O'Fallon. 

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

First of all, I am alive.

I made it through the cross-country trek with the baby and my sister.

Survived a few days at my parents' house.

Now I'm in Chicago and I have transitioned into full hipster mode (I'm typing this on a typewriter).

I've had many awkward adventures that I'm too tired to type tonight but rest assured they're coming soon.

Spreading my little butterfly wings presently.

Precocious

When she's turned toward the camera, it loves her. 

Goodbye

Goodbye expansive wastelands

Goodbye distant mountains

goodbye desert 

Goodbye whatever this is. 

Goodbye historic downtown

I'll miss you Main street 

Goodbye Joe's DRIVE IN liquor. Stay Classy. 

Smile for the Camera Honey!

Makayla went to get her picture taken yesterday. It went as well as can be expected. 

Out of the Box

I feel like I live in the warehouse that stores the ark of the covenant. 

Where are my toys? 

Checkmate

Yesterday at the grocery store a chubby little girl, who was holding a tub of potato salad, was screaming all through the dairy section. I gave her my most withering stare. Undaunted the girl looked me dead in the face, roared like a lion, and walked away.

SLC Punk