Sympathy for the Devil

The devil dog got a huge hunk of PB&J, confidently flung on the ground from the sticky hands of the one in the high chair. I managed to wrestle half of said bite out of the slobbering dog's mouth. I've decided that the hoover can wait in her kennel during the baby's scheduled meals. 

The Real Christmas Miracle!

Anyone who has met more than 5 time will undoubtoudly surmise that I am not particularly feminine. I don't wear makeup often, no jewelry, skirts are unlikely. I burp shamelessly, and I only shave up to my knees. I am no master of the feminine arts. I can mess up toast. I allow gravy to boil over. I add a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon. I could go on. 

That's supposed to be fruit salad.

This Christmas I am at my sister's house. Since she works hard all week I decided that I would help by making some food for our holiday dinner. And damn did I deliver!

This pastry-wrapped brie ball took literally minutes to make! 

I dug deep within myself and summoned up all the repressed knowledge gained from those lazy hours watching the food network. Somehow I made some halfway decent sides to go along with my brother-in-law's superb prime rib.

Yes pigs-in-blanket take ten minutes to make, yes ranch baked oyster crackers aren't souffles.Yes my carrots were a bit burned on the bottom and my greens a little wilted but all in all it was a unbutton-the-top-button-of-your-jeans rip-roaring good time. 

Maybe I summoned the power of baby Jesus. I sure hope father time helps me pull off a new year's feast. 

If you give your kid an inch; she'll still only be an inch away because she's on a leash.

My sister doesn't want to be a helicopter parent. She has a lot of love in her. In this modern world it's tough to let your little one spread their tiny wings. 

She couldn't bear to be away from her beloved child so she co-slept for several months. I'm conflicted about this. M is too young to know this is on her (she hasn't worn it yet since I've been here), and the monkey backpack is really cute. 

Well this is fashion forward.

I want to go walking with M to see if I get any comments, either pro or con, from concerned parents. It seems like a good way to give your toddler freedom without letting them toddle into danger.

Verdict: Approve.

A Christmas Miracle!

As I mentioned before; my sister's dog is the devil. She is a miniature hound of hell. Currently, she is in the dog house, if you will, for attempting to escape the comforts of this apartment. She sprinted for the mountains; disrupting the Christmas peace that had descended not five minutes previous.

This is the second time this mongrel has attempted a holiday escape. Two years ago, to the day, she absconded in below zero weather. She must be craving some attention. 

I'll show her how to set up a blog; that'll fix her right up. 

My New Enemy

This is Lyla. She is evil incarnate. I thought those meddlesome cats were trouble; I was wrong. This smelly fluff ball is determined to make my life a pain. Her breath smells like a dead raccoon. She wipes her snotty nose on my pants. She has to go out every 5 minutes. She's yappy as all get out. She bites the baby. She follows me everywhere which causes me to trip over her hairy torso. She is dim and crossed-eyed. She makes me sneeze.....She's watching me right now..... 

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!

In mid November 2002 I was sitting in German class trying to conjugate verbs with all my might. There I was memorizing a huge list of present perfect tense verbs and participles (to swim: geschwommen, to work: gearbeitet, to die: gestorben) when a voice comes over the loud speaker. "Will Anneke please come to the front office."

Now something to know about me I was in high school, what they call a "goody two shoes" a "suck up." I never got a detention, I was rarely late for class and I never abused the restroom pass. I sat in the front, paid attention in class and turned in all my homework on time. So I had no idea why little old me would be dragged into the front office. I didn't have a dentist appointment, I didn't forget my lunch at home, I hadn't left the stove on, so I had to be in trouble.

I shuffled out of my seat and made my way down the A wing hallway, past the poorly drawn murals and dented lockers. I walked past senior bench and the cafeteria and went into the front office. My sister Heidi was standing in front of Mrs. Gonder's desk with a grim look set on her face. Heidi said, "Anneke there's been a family emergency so I'm going to take you home." I was too afraid to ask what might have happened, maybe I had left the stove on after all.

Heidi and I walked in silence out to her green firebird. When I buckled my seat belt I was on the verge of tears. "What happened?" I quibbled. Heidi looked at me and burst out laughing. "Relax, I'm kidnapping you, we're going to see the new Harry Potter movie, it came out today!"

Heidi and I had an excellent time at the movies (even though Dobby's CGI looked a bit weird). She came to my school, freaked out a "goody two shoes" and made me feel ok about breaking a rule once in a while.

Heidi, even though you're far away in Wyoming I hope you think about your little sister. I know I think about you. Happy birthday!