Monday, March 26, 2012


So it's not shameful enough that I slink into the teen section, grab a book then run to the historical fiction section, but you put up this sign? Really? 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


This post contains spoilers. But seriously I'm saving you the trouble of slogging through this hot mess.

So I couldn't resist the sequel to Hush, Hush so I scampered out to my local library to get the next installment.

Once again Patch acts like a total douche the entire time. But! Now there is a second dude who's just as jerky as Patch! Nora gets pushed around by 100% more dudes than she did in the first book. And they make sure to up the ante.

The dudes, break into her house, roofie her, chase her, try to blow her up, shoot her (tragically not fatal), invade her dreams, change her thoughts, get in fist fights for her honor, try to sexually assault her, kidnap her, threaten to murder her, try to murder her, abuse her mentally and physically, and of course break her heart.

Once again Nora is fairly certain Patch wants to kill her dead. But he's still so dreamy!

Nora is that unfortunate combination of too stupid to live but unkillable. She stumbles around the entire book wondering if some will kill her and "throw her body in a dumpster." But instead of doing something anything about it she sits around passively leaving the doors to her house unlocked.

Fitzpatrick fails to flesh out the world of fallen angels. And the "plot" remains at WTF as ever. But she does mention the fallen angels built an amusement park in upstate Maine! That makes sense! And adds to my understanding about the motivations of fallen angels.

Finally, at one point the fallen angels and co. go to a club called the Devil's Handbag.  Just let that sink in. The Devil's Handbag. You didn't know the devil carries a purse? Well he does! God! It's as hot as the devil's handbag in here! I hope Nora doesn't get murdered in the devil's handbag!

Wait, I do want that.

Monday, March 19, 2012


It is warm and balmy in Chicago.

It's snowing here.

And I had almost put away my winter coat for the season.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Baby Update

Baby woke up at 10:30 pm last night. Stayed up till 4:45. Slept for an hour. Where does her energy come from?

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Wyoming Update

Today I was walking the dog and a tumbleweed crossed our path.

That is all.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fiction for Haters: A Love Story

I love reading books that I fully expect to be terrible messes. See: Twilight Series. Reading a book that has terrible writing brings a joy I can't fully describe. It's kind of like Tosh.0 in word form. Watching people fail isn't a delight reserved only for the realm of youtube. The only downside is I can't see the author's face when I eviscerate their hard work.

I seek out books that have no chance of being halfway decent: see Shatter Me. I've been looking for a book as God awful as Shatter Me since the moment the book was over (the sequel won't be out for some time). And although Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick is no Shatter Me, it is terrible. Ah.

If you think this book is a blatant Twilight rip-off that substitutes vampires for fallen angels, you'd be right! Nora and Patch (yes rebel, bad boy, fallen angel is named Patch.) meet in Biology class, as lab partners.

Now where have I read that before?

Both books feature ageless, supernatural dudes who prey on high school girls. Both teach teens horrible life lessons. Both use the power of the internet to confirm their suspicions about their unusual paramours. But Hush, Hush takes the reprehensible genre of paranormal teen fiction to a new low.

Like most mediocre YA fiction Nora is a clumsy do-nothing who is too stupid to live. Without exception every male character, including police officers, abuse Nora in one way or another. They intimidate her, threaten, physically harm, stalk, sexually harass, they alter her thoughts, and act like jerks. Nora's response: OMG should I do something? She never stands up for herself or says, hey your unwanted sexual comments make me uncomfortable.

Throughout the story Nora is half convinced that her smoking hot lab partner is trying to kill her. But he's such a hottie! Example: "If rape, murder or any other miscreant activities were on Patch's mind, he'd cornered me in the perfect place." Let's do a close reading. Nora believes that the chiseled hunk she's falling for wants to rape and murder her. But she can't stay away, because he's so fine. She seeks him out even though she thinks he will cause her physical harm. In the meantime he acts like a tool.

This book follows an abusive relationship = love trend I'm noticing more in YA FIC.

At one point Patch pins Nora to a bed and tells her he wants to murder her. This is after he used his super powers to manipulate her thoughts so he could isolate her, and lure her to a motel room. He tells her no one can hear her scream.

But because he's in love with her it ok, according to Bacca Fitzpatrick. She, like Stephanie Meyer before her, sends the message that if he stalks you, he loves you! He just wants to watch you sleep!

I set out expecting to hate this book because of its poor writing, aggravating characters (one is named Chauncey), and silly plot twists/holes. But I never realized I'd be able to hate it because of the terrible messages it sends to impressionable young tweens. My dislike is so nuanced now!

Never forget girls, if he doesn't threaten to kill you, it's not true love.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Tooth Hurts

One awesome thing about being grown, my teeth live in my mouth already. I don't have any plans for that to change Since getting my 5, yes 5, wisdom teeth a few years ago I reached the end of my tooth saga. At least until it's time for dentures. True I endured years of embarrassing braces, headgear, and a leave-in retainer. One chipped incisor, one sealed cavity, and sensitivity when I eat ice cream. But I cannot for the life of me remember what it feels like growing new teeth. 

I have a pretty good idea now. This child is a trooper but sometimes the difficult job of growing starts to take its toll. She's currently holed up on the couch silently marveling at the Wiggles. According to empirical evidence, gathered by me, growing teeth sucks.

Hopefully the combination of Wiggle power and orajel will soothe what ails her. Should I tell her she'll have a whole new set coming in a few years? Maybe not, she can't handle the tooth.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Spring Has Sprung

So now that winter is officially over in Wyoming, I need to buy some heavy duty sunblock.

The only thing worse than the harsh winds of winter are the blinding suns of summer. How am I supposed to maintain the facade of being a vampire if those rays never cease? I mean you're meant to see all the veins in a human face right? Do you think I could get away with carrying a parasol?

Oh England I never thought I'd miss your overcast, grey skies quite so much.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

On Record

I am officially announcing that daylight savings time is stupid.

I hate it and the practice should end.

I had to get up with a crying baby at 5:30 this morning.

Technically it was 6:30 but my body disagrees.

Stop the madness!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Vacation's Over

Heidi was home for a few days. Bonding ensued, hugs aplenty, angry nap times, etc. Fun was had by all. I had access to a car for the first time in two months! I left the house and interacted with other humanoids! Heidi, however threw off my body clock which made me forget what day it is. 

Things are back to normal, for the moment. And by normal I mean anything but. Heidi will be back for good in a few weeks, which will become our new normal. 

I loved seeing Heidi and I loved getting a break. I needed it. 

Now I have to go deal with the going away presents Heidi left for me in the sink, dishwasher, bathroom and baby's room. 

Coffee break's over I guess. 

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Super Tuesday

I can't handle the tension!

GOP pick a candidate!

Too much high stakes drama!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Baby Update

My sister is home from her work training, and the baby is happy. So happy she won't stop crying because she wants mama to sleep in her crib.

It's going to be a long night.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Wyoming: Update

Wyoming's awesome doomsday bill was voted down by the state house of Representatives. I guess they don't watch enough Doomsday Preppers.

Not cool Wyoming. A state wide bug out plan would be great once the super volcano sets off the mega earthquake that inflates the dollar which begins the drought that kick-starts the food shortage that detonates the nuclear war heads that creates the radioactive bunnies that end the world.

Just saying. 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Waking Nightmares

This show is evil. It is a Jim Henson production, but instills feelings of terror instead of happiness. These four Pajanimals are four different species who have unseen, I'm assuming human, parents. Who call their children the pajanimals. creepy. But what's really unsettling is the muppet eyes. 

You want me to go night night? I'll never sleep again

Every time the pajanimals open their too-wide eyes I shudder. In my opinion wide eyes in a Jim Henson production is meant to be scary as evidenced from the goblins in Labyrinth. Scary. 

This show is too frightening for prime time. Sprout! Remove this show and put on something less scary for children, like Child's Play.