Things I Saw at the Library

Not at all nightmare inducing Humpty Dumpty 

A slightly less racist version of Little Black Sambo the most racist children's book ever. 

I know this because my Mother owns the original book and let me read it as a child. 

Here's the equally racist cartoon version. 

And finally I saw a serial killer van. 

I have seen an abundance of these rapist-mobiles at the Library. Vehicles that are clearly lived in, full of PBR, 20 years worth of  TV Guides, and a bare soiled mattress. What is it about the library that attracts all manner of vagrant and outlier? 

Toddlers and Tiaras: Rock Springs.

This past Saturday I accompanied my sister and the BABY to a "natural" beauty pageant, whatever that means. We walked in the room and sat down to the sounds of a child screaming in the other room. An eerie soundtrack perhaps but untimely preferable to the country and Disney instrumentals that followed.  

All of the mothers at this event looked exactly the way you're imagining.

Girl in a Twilight shirt. Of course.

Pageant dad to 3 year old: You need to have pretty feet and I need to see your sparkle! Show me your sparkle!!!  

During the personality competition for the 10 year olds: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be and why? That is an appropriate thing to ask a child. Because if you're going to judge a child on her looks, talent and personality you might as well make her contemplate the things she should change about herself. 

Chaos reigns. 

Welcome your new Little Miss Sweetwater County.