Like most 3 year olds I too believe the best place to throw a temper tantrum is in the supermarket.
Unlike the majority of toddlers, however, I aim my rage away from the brightly colored cereal boxes and focus it on those smug check out jerks.
I mean, yes, I am buying a frozen pizza, chicken wings, mango sorbet, and a toblerone but it's not like your Saturday night is going so great either. I want to bitch slap the smirks off those simpering 16 year olds. And no I don't need help carrying my bags to the car; but since you offered you could hold my redbox DVDs.
Well I didn't come here to be scorned by the likes of you; insolent whelp! See if I shop here again!
What's that you say? Sorbet is buy one get one free?
See you next week.
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Verdict: guilty pleasure
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