Today I graduated from a state college with an ever so useful Liberal Arts degree. I look forward to being an assistant manager of a Barnes and Noble. I have matriculated at three colleges and have been pursuing my undergraduate degree for over 5 years. But no more.
No more: idiots sleeping off hangovers in the third row, incompetent tenured professors, frat guys, fire drills, essays, extra credit, GPAs, class schedules, soulless lemmings in the financial aid department, lack of parking, terrible dorm food, cocky football players, unshoveled sidewalks, scholarship applications, water dripping from the ceiling in the English department, teacher evaluations, scantron tests, bed bug outbreaks, dorm floods, PETA pamphlets, backpacks, $500 book fees, student fees, technology fees, people who print 300 pages from the school printers, white kids with dreadlocks, uncomfortable desks, and no more people tweeting nonsense throughout class.
I'll miss it.