I am 23 years old. But I feel 78. I pick up the baby and my back starts a painin'. When I sit down my knees creak ominously. I can feel nor' easters in my elbow days before they blow into town. My hair is falling out, I require a Victorian fainting couch bi-weekly, and I think the osteoporosis is causing me to shrink.
Because my mind subconsciously thinks I am in my dotage, I accidentally bought a multi-vitamin designed for women over 60. And you know what whippersnappers? I haven't felt this spry in decades! Pass me the Metamucil and that afghan that keeps my ankles so toasty.
78 is the new 23.