Saturday, October 29, 2011

Jeremy Kyle and my Obsession with Bad Television

Americans see English people as refined, minus people with a cockney accent. Even then, we believe Eliza Doolittle can rise above and proclaim that the rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain. Say the word British to an American and they most likely associate tweed, tea, mustaches and royalty. I am here to tell you that the UK has some inhabitants that would make the reddest of necked Ozark cousin-marriers blush.

The little BBC TV that filters across the pond is mostly the highest rated, funniest, most dramatic and best TV the UK has to offer. We never get to see the stupid game shows, inane talk shows and simply terrible shows that make up 80% of British television.

Lucky for you I am obsessed with terrible TV and make a point of seeking it out. Recently Larisa and I forced ourselves to watch 6 hours of MTV's Teen Wolf just to see how bad it really was. Then she introduced me to the best and worst show in all of England.

A typical guest. 

Jeremy Kyle is similar to Jerry Springer and Maury Povich in that he takes the dregs of society and puts them on display for the entire country. Jeremy also berates his guests before reading out the results of the DNA or lie detector tests. He always manages to find the most terrifying subjects who look even worse on his pristine stage. I have watched countless episodes with a look of sick fascination on my face.

How does your boyfriend not have his own reality show?

This parade of freaks come from all over England, Scotland and Wales to be yelled at by Jeremy for mutilating their faces, mistreating their partners and being ungrateful to their parents. I have never seen anyone 'normal' on the show, even the put upon girlfriend who hates her boyfriend's skull tattoo. He finds the grossest examples of humanity and I can't stop watching.

Here is a deliciously auto-tuned video that perfectly displays Jeremy's guests. Quite simply it is simultaneously the best and worst thing I have ever seen.

Yeah it's the best thing.

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